How to Be Unapologetically Confident | Self-Love, Rejection, and Owning Who You Are

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00:00

Okay, let's unpack this. Welcome to the deep dive.

Hello. This is where we take uh your source material, could be articles, notes, research, anything really, and we dig in to pull out the key insights.

Yeah. The goal is

00:15

basically to give you that shortcut to understanding what's important and often find some well surprising stuff along the way. Exactly.

And this particular deep dive, it's custommade based on material you provided. We're looking at clips from a YouTube video.

That's right. It's called How to Develop

00:31

Unstoppable Confidence and a Magnetic Aura and it features a conversation with someone named Odilia Grace Guggenheim. Quite a title.

So, our mission here is to really get into the observations about Odilia shared in that chat and specifically to identify the principles she talked about, the things that seem

00:47

to fuel that confidence and uh self-acceptance they describe. Yeah.

and I think you should be prepared because some of her viewpoints are well very practical but maybe not what you'd typically expect. Definitely a bit counterintuitive in places.

So jumping right in, one of the first things

01:03

mentioned about Adulia's confidence was how she could just, you know, walk up and talk to absolutely anyone. The interviewer actually mentioned losing her for a second on a train platform in K.

Right. I remember that part.

And then finding her just chatting away with

01:18

total strangers, asking for local tips. And the key phrase there was something like, "There is no fear.

There is no questioning." It wasn't presented as something she had to psych herself up for. No, exactly.

It seemed completely natural. Yeah.

Audilia's take on it. Pretty straightforward.

She just sees it

01:35

as well, a normal way to interact, maybe start a conversation. No big deal, right?

Which kind of flows into the next observation, doesn't it? Her being totally comfortable asking people for photos.

Oh, yeah. And not just friends.

We're talking dates, strangers in a club, anyone. And the details were

01:51

great, like asking for retakes if it wasn't good enough, using the full flash. Yeah.

Just completely uninhibited about getting the shot she wants. It's like she operates in her own bubble of comfort almost.

And when they asked her like, "Isn't that annoying to people?" Her reasoning was interesting. What was

02:06

it again? She genuinely doesn't frame it as being annoying.

She sees asking, you know, excuse me, can you take a picture as just another potential interaction starter, an opener basically? Yeah.

If you're looking to meet people and she's

02:21

quick to offer to take one for them, too. So, it's reciprocal.

Okay. But here's the really crucial part, I think.

What allows her to do that without hesitation. This is where it gets really insightful.

It's her internal focus, right? So, when asked why she wasn't nervous, it wasn't about managing the

02:38

other person's reaction. No, not at all.

It was about her own feeling. She literally asks herself, "How am I going to feel good at the end of the day?" Instead of worrying about, "Oh, what will they think or am I bothering them?" Exactly.

It's a total reorientation. The priority shifts from like external

02:54

validation or avoiding judgment to actively managing her own internal state, her own happiness. Precisely.

And that seems to be the foundation for daring to interact in these ways. Okay.

So moving from those outward actions, let's talk about self-love and her self-image. There was that observation

03:11

about her phone. Ah yes, the phone background and the WhatsApp background.

Both pictures of herself, which the interviewer pointed out might make some people think. Yeah, the immediate thought could be, okay, is that narcissistic?

A bit conceited. But Odilia's explanation just flips that completely.

03:28

It really does. She seemed genuinely surprised that it was even considered unusual.

Like to her, it was obvious. So, how does she explain it?

She sees those photos, like the one from Madrid she used for WhatsApp as simple reminders. Reminders of happy times, travel.

Okay. And her words, a way to

03:46

love and admire yourself. So, not vanity, but appreciation.

Exactly. Like cherishing your own good experiences and yes, liking how you look in those moments.

Putting that positive memory in your daily view. It's a really powerful reframing.

I think it really is. No.

Okay. The big one, not caring what

04:03

anyone thinks. The video shows Adelia as very unapologetically herself, but she adds an important bit of nuance, right?

Yes. And this makes it feel much more real.

She admits she does still care sometimes what people say or think. It's not like she's reached some superhuman

04:20

state of indifference. Not at all.

And she has a technique for when she does feel that sting of external opinion, which is she just tells herself it's just their opinion. simple but effective maybe seems to be for her and the core reason she gives for prioritizing her

04:37

own feelings over these opinions is very direct. What's the logic?

She said she has to do what makes her happy because well she's the only person who's going to be with herself for her entire life. Huh?

That's quite a thought. Yeah, other people.

They're just like coming and passing by in her words. Okay.

And that

04:53

perspective seems to tie directly into how she deals with rejection which the source also touched on. It does.

Her internal monologue when someone rejects her or doesn't like her way of being comes from that same place. Yeah.

She asks herself, "Do I want to be with

05:08

someone who doesn't want to be with me?" And the answer is no. Simple as that.

So, it completely sidesteps self-lame. Totally.

It's not what's wrong with me. It's this isn't a match.

She sees rejection not as a verdict on her worth, but as

05:25

well incompatibility. And she has that phrase, right?

Rejection means it's either this or something better. It's redirection, not a dead end.

And she actively avoids asking what did I do wrong or getting stuck in loops about it. Right?

The source says she just

05:41

accepts it's just in it like it's just part of the process and moves on. That refusal to beat herself up based on external feedback feels key to her resilience.

Okay. So, shifting from the personal.

Yeah. How does this apply to bigger societal pressures like feeling

05:57

you're on the right timeline? Yeah, the interviewer brought up that common feeling of, you know, falling behind maybe with university or career or taking gap years when others aren't.

We've all felt that, I think. Absolutely.

And according to Adidilia's view in the video, that feeling often comes from looking at what society does,

06:13

comparing yourself to the majority path. So, what's her way of dealing with that pressure?

She zooms out. She thinks long term.

She asks, "What will I think about this difference in a few years from now?" Ah, perspective. Exactly.

She used the example of seeing someone older in a university class. Right now, it might

06:30

feel like a big gap, but over a whole lifetime, a few years is very little. That definitely shrinks the perceived importance of hitting milestones at a specific time.

For sure. And building on that idea of living life on her own terms, she actually outlined her

06:45

components for a meaningful life, a personal framework. Okay.

Yeah. She listed four things, right, that contribute to her well-being and seem connected to this confidence.

Mhm. Four key areas.

First was just enjoying life, having fun. Yeah.

Her advice was super direct. Just do it.

Don't get bogged

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down in the logistics, the cost, the difficulty. If it sounds fun, pursue the enjoyment.

Simple enough. What was second?

Meaningful connections. And the emphasis was on meaningful being with positive people, not just anyone, right?

She stressed learning to cut off toxic relationships and trusting your gut

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feeling about people who bring you down. Protecting your energy.

Makes sense. Third, trying new things.

Being open, not getting fixated on one path or one type of person. She even mentioned trying unlikely friendships cuz you just never know.

Being possibilities open.

07:35

Exactly. And the fourth point was about daring to do things, taking risks.

Okay. She acknowledged sometimes it doesn't work out.

Oh no, I shouldn't have done it. But other times it leads to something amazing.

Yeah. Oh my god, it's so cool.

Who would have thought I would do it? That willingness to risk the oh

07:51

no for the chance of the oh my god. That really captures an adventurous spirit, doesn't it?

Enjoyment, connection, new things, daring. It paints a picture of a life built actively, not passively.

Definitely. But you know, being yourself, living by these principles,

08:07

especially when it goes against the norm. Yeah.

It's not always easy. The video addresses that fear, right?

Odilia herself says being yourself sounds very easy but it's not. And the main reason fear of not being accepted.

Yeah. Fear of losing friends especially in environments like school where you can't

08:23

just easily pick and choose your circle. She called it not being able to puzzle connections.

That's a good way to put it. So what's her solution then?

It's pragmatic. She figures it's ultimately way better to actively look for and be with people who accepts me for who I am.

08:38

people who are more like-minded than to waste energy pretending. Exactly.

She calls pretending a waste of time. Her advice is basically seek out your people straight away.

Don't settle for pretending. Okay.

And that relates to another big challenge today. Comparison.

08:55

The source brought up social media, right? Yes.

Explicitly. Instagram.

The whole perfect body pressure. How easily things are manipulated online.

So, what's Odelia's insight for dealing with that comparison trap? The core idea is remembering that what you see online and often even in person isn't the full

09:12

picture. People don't always look like that.

And crucially remembering that everyone has their flaws. Everyone.

She used an example, didn't she? Yeah.

Justin Bieber talking openly about mental health struggles to show that even people who seem to have it all, fame, success, whatever, they have

09:29

significant challenges, too. So remembering that everyone has problems helps put your own struggles in perspective.

Exactly. It provides proportions, as you put it.

It normalizes your own challenges instead of making you feel uniquely flawed compared to these curated images. It

09:45

highlights that shared human struggle. So, it seems like a lot of this confidence and self-direction she embodies.

It isn't really about being perfect or never feeling fear. Not at all.

It seems to stem more from like a deep self-acceptance, a conscious choice

10:01

to prioritize her own well-being, her own happiness, and a really practical almost strategic way of handling opinions, pressures, and just life's challenges. Yeah, that's a good summary.

So, wrapping up this deep dive, the source material really gives us some concrete takeaways from Adelius's

10:17

perspective. Definitely things like the surprising upside of just daring to interact.

Mhm. Reframing self-image, like those photos, not as narcissism, but as cherishing good memories.

Making that conscious choice to put your happiness first, even when you do still care a bit about opinions. Seeing

10:33

rejection as redirection, not failure. Choosing your own timeline over societies.

And actively finding meaning through experiences and connections. And these aren't just, you know, vague ideas.

There are actual approaches discussed in the video, things you could

10:49

genuinely think about applying. Absolutely tangible stuff.

So, here's a final thought for you to consider, sparked by something Adilia said. She mentioned being surprised that putting pictures of herself on her phone wasn't obvious to others that this simple act felt unusual to them, right?

So, what

11:07

might happen if you tried experimenting with just one small thing from this deep dive? something that feels maybe a tiny bit daring but also natural and positive for you even if it seems unconventional to others.

What could you learn just by trying it and seeing what happens? Worth

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thinking about definitely. Until our next deep dive.