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00:00
well no one wants to join the U.S imperialist army they tried everything to try to make it look cool streaming Call of Duty to teens on Twitch you know how it goes that didn't work so there's only one way left we must mobilize The Sims this is U.S army Eagle otherwise known as lunch bag Lujan which almost
00:15
sounds like a made-up fake religion about eating lunch or like a pasta you get at Olive Garden sorry can't make the party tonight have a lunch bag La John meeting the U.S army e-girl has gained popularity on Tick Tock Twitter and the depths of Fortune hell this year mostly starting in late September of 2022.
00:30
she's a self-described psychological operations specialist which pretty much just spells out psya plain and simple it's pretty clear the US Army just wants to mobilize the absolute dredges of man the dudes on Instagram who reply to every picture of boobs with OMG DM me beckoning and wailing from his basement hoping he will finally snag some girl
00:46
who's way cooler than him Hayley Lujan if I'm pronouncing that correctly the e-girl in question has been posting since 2013. much like us all but didn't share her first US Army related content until May 2022 on Tick Tock where she started sharing her US Army status she continue to post U.S army quote-unquote
01:02
comedy videos and Tick Tock Vlogs later in September and some of those have received millions of views for some reason like this one users deep in the online trenches of degeneracy would begin to post about her like on 4chan and Twitter and I'm just gonna lay a line down here Eagles Rock but a US Army Eagle is just one step too far this is
01:19
like the IDF e-girl Natalia or whatever her name is what's next nuclear weapons e-girl we don't exactly need e-girls promoting U.S imperialism or War but hey the internet's created worse I guess remember those monkey nfts it'd be really cool if we got some more interesting and creative e-girl personas in public Consciousness though instead of just a bunch of paid military Sims
01:35
like there's cool God stuff people do or whatever but we need like a NASA space Ambassador e girl before long every brand on Twitter is going to have its own e-girl I think you'll be just browsing and see your daily Burger King e-girl ad mark my words that's going to happen it's going to work too Arby's is gonna have an Arby's e-girl that poses in Arby's branded lingerie it's gonna
01:51
get 100K likes on Twitter and someone should hire me so anyway clearly some higher ups are starting to get pretty creative with US Army Recruitment we'll probably see some more US Army weirdness online soon like perhaps they'll make a US Army V tuber or a US Army waifu some anime girl in camera I mean the sky's the limit when it comes to us psyops
02:07
maybe I'm a psyop who knows I'm not I'm I'm not a U.S I joined the army join the Army join okay please don't join the US Army there's really cool things you can do instead like eat potato chips and watch tick tocks about memes US Army e girls have actually been around for a while so maybe they've been
02:22
doing it for longer than we think for example Bella porch was originally a US Army poster she even had a Rising Sun Tattoo so they've been cooking that up for a while maybe there's an e-girl cloning facility located deep under Area 51 we're probably hiding Elvis and Tupac in there too Kurt Cobain shows probably go so hard in the Martian Mosh Pit
02:37
anyway the thought of some young impressionable youth joining the US Army and dying in some unnecessary conflict falling to the ground in his last thought being of U.S army e-girl as he bleeds out is one of the saddest thoughts I've ever conjured lunch bag with John I did I did it for you
02:54
as he looks at his last breath awesome I'm gonna go back to watching content for people who have a personality a moral compass and a human brain now goodbye [Music]