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[music] uh what we refer to as Shiva is for most human beings. I would say when I say most except
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[music] a few minuscule population for others what we are referring to a Shiva is only available at the zero hour.
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It is the midnight hour not at the other times. [snorts] If you have to know that dimension at other times then there's a whole lot of stuff that you need to do with yourself.
Otherwise most people are simply not
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capable of touching that dimension. Now don't start sitting up in midnight and start doing things.
As you know Shiva has many forms. If he comes in certain forms, you can't deal with it either.
It may be wonderful in ultimate
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calculations. It may be wonderful, but in today's calculations, it may be horrendous.
So it is not just because of darkness or because of some weird perversion that
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people go and sit in cremation grounds and other places at the midnight hour because even if they do not know by experience they know by tradition that's the only
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time it's available. It took me You know, I've sat in these cremation grounds without knowing why.
[music] Just not knowing why I'm going there. It
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just drew me always sitting there in the midnight. Not even because I was searching simply because somewhere it [music] intrigued me what could be happening these people who died.
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This happened to me when I was just 13 years of age. We went for a daser vacation which was just about uh 15 days or so.
And when we came back we realized one of our classmates had died a girl
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in the vacation time she died of pneumonia. So her brother who was one year junior to us came back and said she died in the vacation.
So initially we thought this was fun and
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we tried to imitate a female voice and answer her attendance and things because they were still calling her name in the attendance book. But after some time this just freaked me out.
This girl is just our age. She was right here and she just evaporated.
Where the hell is she?
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I thought she's going to come back after a few days, do the act, and come back. But then I saw this not an act.
It's gone. This just got me up like this and I couldn't go to school for a few days.
This is not something emotional or
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nothing. Okay, I have nothing for that person as such.
But just the intrigue that somebody who was real just like me, poof, search where you want. So I really wanted to know what the
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[clears throat] hell happens. It just so freaked my mind.
I wanted to know. So I thought I'll go and see myself cuz I'm made like this.
I want to go and see everything for myself.
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So I went and researched through my father's uh [music] medicine cabinet. Then I found a bottle of babbiterates.
Then I took them out because it was opened. I counted there were 98 of them.
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Then I just mildly inquired how many does it take. They said an adult could die with 30, 25, 30 tablets.
They could die. And I thought I am only 13.
98 is good enough.
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So I had lots of properties, many things you know I won't tell you what all they are. I distributed all of them among my friends and I told a few of my friends you know I'm going I want to see what the hell this is.
They thought I'm joking. They were happy I'm giving away things.
They thought
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some nutcase is talking something. So I went home and I knew if I'm on an empty stomach it'll be good.
And I refuse to eat my dinner. I said I have stomach pain.
I don't want to eat. And uh I swallowed 98 barates and went
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to sleep and then I don't know what happened. [music] After 3 days I sort of opened my eyes and I was not in heaven or hell or
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anywhere. When I saw the rafters I knew it was my dad's hospital.
>> [music] >> I immediately closed my eyes. I thought I knew I was in the wrong place.
[laughter] 3 days they gave me some all kinds of
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stomach washes and they kept me on drip and they did every kind of possible thing and they didn't let me go. 3 days later after all that I still did not know anything.
All I knew was I blanked out for 3 days and I was in a hospital
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bed. Then I knew this is not the way to find out.
So what happens after that? Then I spent lots of time in cremation grounds
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wanting to find out. People told me they saw ghosts here.
This will happen. That will happen.
Every damn place they said is haunted. I'll go and sleep there that night.
They said this day it didn't come.
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Some man says every amawasia he goes and feeds blood to the ghost and he shows me his finger is all worn out by cutting it cutting it every day feeding blood to the ghost. I go with himawasha amawasa that amawasha doesn't turn up.
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I went everywhere looking all kinds of things. There is another man with black robes.
He's I go into his uh you know he takes me to his big kind of a shrine kind of place
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where so many bottles all cocked up tied with black cloth. [music] He says he's trapped all ghosts in this glass bottles.
I befriend him wanting to steal one bottle from him but he was very guarded. He didn't let
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me take away one bottle, [laughter] but not one ghost popped out of any bottle, you know. Then I went and sat in cremation grounds hoping here it must be, you know.
I want
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to look at the freshly dead so that maybe when they burn it, it'll come out where it is. I want to see.
So they said if you put a nail in the tree at 12:00 in the night it will come.
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I went and nailed the damn tree every day. I'm looking at the watch and exactly 12:00 turn nothing came.
[laughter] Then I sit there and people bring bodies
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and uh they all you know they all cry and yell and everything but nobody stays there long enough. They'll stay there for at the most half an hour, 1 hour, it starts burning, they're done.
They got they have other things to do, you know.
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So, they go away. I've seen hundreds and hundreds of cremations, but at least 80% or more will not wait till the last ember is burnt.
When it catches fire, they will stand
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there. They will cry.
They will look at the watch. Oh, let us go.
Let us go. is go because this keeps burning for 5 6 7 hours sometimes.
So after half an hour 45 minutes a nominal amount of time they will stand there and they will leave and the body
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is caught fully fire. But body only outside its flesh inside the main structure why you have this form and you're sitting is because of the bone.
the skeletal system. In the skeletal system, the one that burns most easily is the spine because very little part of
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it is bone and not only that it's not a continuous bone. So if just the in between whatever is there those ligaments and other things burn it just kind of falls apart.
So with the head attached most of the time the head will dup and roll off.
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Now they're not trying to go anywhere. It's just because they arrange the firewood in such a way firewood starts collapsing as it burns and hands legs won't roll away like that.
Head always tends to roll away.
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So I always go pick it up with the stick and put it back because I if the ghost is in the head I wanted [music] to get out. Nothing came.
So nobody wants to be there when these things [music] happen because one thing is they might have
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loved those people when they were living. Let's assume they really loved them.
In spite of that once they are dead they don't want to deal with it. And the level of fear about the dead body is unbelievable.
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I took one of my friends to morg in the tuberculosis sanatorium in my shop. You must see among 90% of the society what level of fear they have about a
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dead body. Dead bodies have never gotten up and kicked you or beaten you or raped you or done anything like that ever.
Not one instance. Hello.
Not a single instance but everybody is simply terrified of the dead. It's a
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living which can cause harm to you. Dead has never caused harm but unreasonable level of fear they have fundamentally because it remains of their own mortal nature which they don't want to face.
I took a you know like I was probably
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maybe I was 19 by then I had seen many of these things. this friend who is quite a normal guy is not one of those uh wimpy guys is strong and good.
So we walked in because we had to identify somebody a dead person.
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So I took him inside that uh caretaker opened the thing. We went in about maybe about 12 13 bodies were there.
So we had to go and look close. You won't believe the way he freaked.
I thought he's going to die
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like that. He freaked.
Literally, everything was coming out of him like that. He freaked looking at these bodies.
They're just normal bodies. I'm saying they're not distorted, rotten, nothing.
I'm saying normal bodies. Of course, the
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morg smells. People can't deal with it at close quarters.
So, they just instinctively they want to go away. Only when I turned inward, I found a ghost within.
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Wherever else I looked, I didn't find. But this whole exercise of being in the cremation grounds almost on a daily basis
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got me one thing 100% clear. Mortality.
Very clear. No doubts about myself.
I know this is time bound. Once you know [music] it's time bound,
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you'll organize your life efficiently. You think you're here forever.
So there is so much time to do so many things which are absolutely unnecessary for you right now. All kinds of idiotic things are done.
So many unnecessary words, so
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many unnecessary actions, so many unnecessary ghosts created [music] simply because you would think you're immortal. If you knew experientially you are mortal, as you sitting here is slipping away your life, isn't it?
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Yes or no? As you sit here, it's slipping away.
If you are conscious of this, do you have time to quarrel with somebody, do some other rubbish? No.
[music] You would do only what really matters to you. If every human being did
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what only really matters to them, this world would be a completely different place. So coming to terms with mortality is most important at the earliest age.
If you come to terms with mortality, it's best because you'll organize your life
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sensibly.