Zarna Garg | This American Woman: A One-In-A-Billion Memoir | Talks at Google

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Category: Comedy Insights

Tags: CareerComedyFamilyParentingPositivity

Entities: Amy PoehlerComedy CellarErikica BiggleyGoogleHarvard Medical SchoolHuluKevin HartTina FeyUnited AirlinesZara

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Summary

    Introduction and Icebreakers
    • Erikica Biggley introduces Zara, highlighting her achievements and humor.
    • Zara shares her experiences with comedy and learning online.
    Career and Personal Growth
    • Zara emphasizes embracing change and viewing pivots as opportunities.
    • She discusses turning comedy into a business during challenging times.
    • Zara advises to approach every pivot like a puzzle waiting to be solved.
    Comedy and Family Dynamics
    • Zara integrates humor with family dynamics, believing her audience is smart.
    • She talks about writing jokes with positive intent and celebrating identity.
    • Zara involves her family in her work, making them part of her comedic journey.
    Writing and Parenting
    • Zara wrote her book to inspire others feeling stuck to take action.
    • She shares unconventional parenting advice, like investing in time-saving services.
    • Zara discusses the importance of outsourcing tasks to focus on priorities.
    Building Community and Brand
    • Zara focuses on family-oriented content, ensuring it resonates with diverse audiences.
    • She believes in creating moments that connect families through her comedy.
    • Zara stresses the importance of caring about your audience and building genuine connections.
    Actionable Takeaways
    • Embrace change and view it as a fun adventure.
    • Treat career pivots as puzzles to solve, not obstacles.
    • Invest in outsourcing tasks to focus on what truly matters.
    • Create content with positive intent and celebrate your identity.
    • Build genuine connections with your audience by caring about their experience.

    Transcript

    00:00

    [Music] Hello, hello, and welcome. I am Erikica Biggley.

    I'm a head of industry in our media and entertainment team here at Google. Um, before I get started, for

    00:16

    all of you in the audience, we will take questions at the end. I promise we'll leave more time for you than for me.

    Um, I am so excited to welcome Zara back to Google. This is actually her second time here.

    And much like a true Googler, she has been overachieving since she's been

    00:32

    gone. She has penned a novel.

    She worked sundar and incognito mode into her standup bits. And for me, she's had me fangirling hard from her very early days of talking about time travel and also talking about children's privacy and

    00:49

    teenagers lack thereof of privacy, which I fully subscribe to. So, it is my pleasure's honor to welcome you to talks at Google today.

    So happy. Yes.

    Thank you so much.

    01:04

    All right. You ready?

    I know you're coming off of a flight, so we'll make this lots of fun. Yeah.

    Um, one of the things we always do at Google is we always start with ice breakers. Okay.

    So, we're going to start with an icebreaker. Given the fact that I work in media and entertainment, I'm going to ask you three questions.

    Okay. Last live

    01:21

    event you attended, it cannot be your own. Oh.

    What are you binge watching and what are you reading? also can't be your own.

    Last live event I um I watch a lot of comedy. I I like watching other comics.

    I actually enjoy it myself. Uh

    01:38

    so I was at the comedy seller watching a show and I saw all these new comics uh one night was a lot of fun. I recommend it to everybody here.

    Please go buy the comedy seller at night and just take any show and watch that. Uh, binge watching.

    01:54

    Interesting you should ask because I was stuck at an airport last night for 6 hours and I decided, you know what? I'm going to watch YouTube tutorials on how to fly an airplane because this cannot be that

    02:10

    hard. Press the green buttons, don't touch the red buttons.

    Then when I started googling how to fly an airplane, Tom Cruz came up. Oh.

    because his latest trailer, he's outside the plane and it's still flying. So, I was like sitting

    02:27

    there literally going like, "Can I learn?" Because we were stuck because we were missing a pilot. And I was like, "There's a hundred of us here.

    Somebody step up, please turn that key on. Let's go." So, lately, but I'm um because

    02:44

    we're at Google, you should know I love learning online for free. I'm not paying for another degree in this country.

    I already paid for two. But I'm, you know, my career started because I Googled what is a joke.

    03:01

    Really? Yes.

    Yes. This is true.

    I had no idea what standup comedy was. I had no idea what a joke was.

    Like I mean, you know, you know what a joke is in everyday life, but like in a club setting for from a professional point of view. And I remember when I did my first

    03:18

    ever open mic, the woman who ran the open mic said, "You're very funny, but you don't have jokes." Because I just went on an open mic cold turkey and started trashing my mother-in-law because who doesn't think that's

    03:33

    funny? And uh then when she said, "You don't have jokes." I remember coming home and Google, "What is a joke?" Okay.

    So that and so I'm like a big see if I have any waking moments I'm like looking up like random weird things and learning

    03:49

    how to do them and like look soon I'm going to be flying an airplane. I'm excited for that.

    I feel like we need that. What did Google say a joke was?

    I want to know. Setup and punchline.

    Like there's a premise and then you misdirect it or you create a surprise ending. It's

    04:04

    actually pretty technical in a way that only engineers would be like, "Oh, okay. All right." Because I remember reading that and thinking, "Oh, that's what that's what makes you laugh.

    You create this this premise and then you kind of create a surprise ending to it and that's what a

    04:22

    joke is." But I had no idea that that you know what professionals call like hard jokes and misdirects and there's all these categories of jokes that then I discovered because Google as you know is an endless strove once you go down

    04:37

    that road doesn't still binging. I love it.

    So you've brought up a few things. You're talking about the comedy seller.

    Can we pause and clap to say that you were the first South Asian to get a permanent spot there? Correct.

    04:52

    Yes. Pretty impressive, right?

    So, and you've also talked about the fact that you've paid for two degrees. So, you started your life as a lawyer, pivoted to a mom, which you still hold that queen title.

    Yeah, that is the day day job. Yeah.

    Yeah. It never ends.

    05:08

    Yeah. No, it doesn't.

    You find out after you have them that it never ends, which is, you know, it would be good to know. Yeah.

    I really thought it was going, right? Like you have to so tired.

    T. Well, your kids do the travel soccer and all like white people,

    05:26

    but we have a 4.9. So, 4.9.

    Good job. It's not a five, but okay.

    Because there's no advanced placement gym. He's very angry about this.

    I get that. I get that.

    That's a crisis. Yeah.

    Um, all right. So, obviously, you've pivoted a few times.

    Talk to us about these

    05:42

    pivots. Everyone here constantly has to pivot.

    What's your philosophy when it comes to that? You just have to embrace change.

    You once you understand that change is inevitable and actually fun. Once you get over the fear of it, it's

    05:59

    fun. It's another adventure.

    And I didn't have the choice. I kind of had to pivot.

    Like my I was really stuck as a stay-at-home mom. I was feeling completely stuck.

    and a lot of moms do where you feel like the adult world has

    06:14

    moved on without you cuz you're buried in the kids world. So I had to get myself out of it.

    But since then there have been so many pivots like my husband lost his job. I had to figure out how to turn comedy into a business overnight.

    There was no more like I'm having fun

    06:29

    with it. No, what is the business model?

    How are we going to make money? And but instead of being u intimidated by it, I choose to be excited about every pivot.

    I feel like it's coming my way for a reason. And and you know, many people,

    06:45

    I'm sure, in this room enjoyed doing puzzles, enjoyed doing Legos. Like I think of pivots like that.

    It feels to me like a puzzle that's waiting to be solved. And because we've done I've done millions of them with my kids.

    And you

    07:00

    know, that's how I treat it. And I think that the the less afraid you are of it, the more successful you'll be getting on the other side.

    Also knowing that like falling and failing is not as big of a deal because no one has time. Everybody

    07:16

    in my own world is obsessed with their own lives. They all have endless things to watch on Netflix and Hulu and all of it and on Google and YouTube.

    So yes, yes, yes and YouTube Premium and YouTube Red.

    07:34

    Let's just get them all in there. So it's I think once you understand that nobody has really time to judge you because there was a time especially in the South Asian community like Lo was made famous by Hassan Minaj like what

    07:50

    will people say used to be a thing today nobody is saying anything nobody's even looking they don't have time people log into their own social media and spend all the time looking at their own social media they look at their own posts they read their own

    08:06

    caption. So no one's there like no one's there to embarrass you and once you understand that it becomes a lot easier to take a risk like you know just take that risk and go uh so I would say that approach every pivot like it's a little

    08:23

    puzzle waiting to be solved and that it will get solved. I love that we have a Lego wall downstairs if you want to do Legos.

    See I knew that we were sympatico. I knew we were, you know, I stopped this morning to uh Um, all right.

    So, we already have seen this. You blend humor with sharp observations

    08:40

    and differences and family dynamics. We all have something.

    You have the South Asian auntie. I have a grandma that can sling massive Catholic guilt at any given time.

    And we all have mother-in-laws. How do you tackle these topics, these very sensitive topics, but still keep us

    08:56

    engaged and laughing? You know, I have faith that my audience is very very smart.

    My audience is brilliant. Honestly, it must be the highest IQ audience ever.

    Well, clearly look around. Look at this.

    Right. So, uh

    09:12

    it's, you know, once you understand that you can only control your own intention, you can't control anything else. Like, I know why I'm writing the joke that I'm writing.

    What is the purpose behind it? Now, if somebody wants to receive it and turn it into a personal insult or

    09:28

    whatever, that's on them. That's not on me.

    I don't even know who this person is or whatever. The jokes that I write are written like in a light-hearted spirit and meant to part even celebrate who we are.

    Like so many people now come up to

    09:44

    me and tell me, moms will tell me because of you, I I feel free to tell my kid, you can't do that and you need to do another math test. Agree.

    Which is the thing by the way just so you guys know we and our family when one kid is studying for a test we all take

    10:00

    tests and there are a lot of free tests online. So we're that family but because we talk about it so openly it has become acceptable for other people to talk about it and do it.

    So I think that the jokes are edgy and all but but

    10:17

    they come from a very warm and loving place. Like I have no desire to particularly troll any one person or anyone community.

    There's just no need to do that and that's all I can control is that I'm putting things out with positive intent and then my audience

    10:33

    that tends to be in my world receives it as such. So my page is a very positive page.

    Like if you hang out on my social media anywhere, it's a very positive. There's usually one person who's like acting up and then the everybody else shuts them down.

    We don't even have to

    10:48

    do anything. It's usually my mother-in-law.

    No, it's true. She trolls me in the comment section everywhere.

    I'll make a joke and she'll go and she's like, "She's lying." You may get a negative review

    11:04

    from my son cuz I told him after watching one of your videos that summer school is not optional, that it's required. No, never.

    Yeah. Right.

    Math. You need to take an extra math.

    Of course. Right.

    Summer is for getting ahead. Thank you.

    That's what exactly what I told you. Look, look, look.

    Everybody here is like, that's right.

    11:19

    Exactly. Right now, they're like, "Let's do an SAT class right now." So, just be prepared that Mike Fab up there.

    He might join your mother-in-law. Um, all right.

    Let's talk about this American woman. Your first book.

    Okay. First book made the New York Times bestseller list,

    11:35

    numerous Amazon list. You even had to bring your daughter on to help manage all these pre-orders.

    Like, can we have a round of applause for how impressive that is? It's been described as a one ina billion memoir.

    What made this time right now

    11:50

    the right time to actually put pen to paper as opposed to doing your standup and doing your YouTube videos? I I'll tell you, it's a very easy, simple answer.

    Everywhere I've gone for the last few years doing comedy, inevitably I'm asked by everybody, how did you get

    12:07

    started? How do you have the courage?

    what what were the first few steps and I've been answering this question for for a few years now and uh I decided you know maybe I should consolidate the answers share the journey share the lows cuz you know social media at the end of

    12:24

    the day is a marketing page so it has a lot of highs and it's very easy to believe that that's all that's happening I wanted to share the behind the scenes and I was really motivated from a place of like I want everybody who's feeling

    12:39

    unstuck or wanting to do that extra something to feel like they can do it because the world otherwise is filled with doom and gloom like everywhere you turn AI is going to take your job and and this there's a war happening like you would think like we're not even

    12:55

    going to make it to tomorrow. So, I wanted to contribute a positive spot, like something that people can turn to and be like, you know what, maybe I should take a chance and start that cooking blog or whatever it is that they want to do.

    It really came from an honest, genuine place like that. And uh

    13:12

    I I'm very comforted to know we have over,200 reviews like within two weeks. And it's so many people saying, you know, I'm going to try this or I'm going to try that.

    I think that's what we need. Like what is reading all the bad news going to get us?

    You need positive

    13:28

    activity. Whatever it is that you've been wanting to try, just go do it already.

    It doesn't matter what else is going to happen in the world or not, the world will keep spinning and you might find your thing. So let's talk about that.

    You talk a lot about positivity, but in your book, you talk about a lot

    13:44

    of tough things that you had to face. Your father's strict rules, Indian cultural attitudes towards women, the beating of your brother.

    Like how did that make you who you are today? You have to understand that life is all of it, right?

    You know, it's like even

    14:00

    my father's strict rules, there are so many good things that came out of it. Uh in including he was the one who was most aggressive about all of us learning English.

    He insisted on it. I mean, he had his own reasons.

    They were not freedom of speech reasons.

    14:17

    Not at all. Like I don't think that that idea had crossed his mind.

    But he was very much like this is the language of the future and um you know life is all of it. Part of the reason I wrote the book is so people can see the other side of it.

    Uh women being treated a certain

    14:33

    way in India or here for that matter is a reality and uh you know you have to acknowledge what's happening. You can't just pretend that none of it happened or is happening.

    But my story is a story of like all right I see how all of this is

    14:50

    happening. It's not right.

    But what can I do that will be my contribution to making a step in the other direction. All I focus on is what what is the the actions that I can control.

    You know, it's a Hindu principle. It's all about

    15:05

    your karma. You have to focus on your karma.

    You can't control anything else anyway. Exactly.

    Yeah. I mean, although yesterday I did make the airplane fly, but I I hear that.

    I really think that the pilot showed up in the end because they're like this woman might get in the

    15:21

    coffee with your YouTube. I think United was like, "Somebody show up before this crazy woman starts pressing buttons in." We will be sending this to United as well.

    Yes. It's the most toxic relationship I'm in.

    Um, all right. Let's talk about what happens when you

    15:37

    get writer's block. You went to Gemini, right?

    Because you're at this group of really smart folks that helped you get over it, right? Writer's block is a real thing.

    And I'm going to give you an answer that's not going to be very popular. I have a tendency to go

    15:54

    shopping. You know what?

    Maybe I need a new pair of shoes. No, the way to beat writer's block and the way to beat any block is to do something that gets gives you joy.

    Now, some people will be like, I went running like that. Not me.

    16:12

    I'm more like, let me get cake. But whatever it is that's going to give you joy, take you out of that feeling of being blocked and stuck.

    You need to go do that so that you can come back stronger. I like that.

    I think that's

    16:27

    great. All right, let's talk about parenting.

    Oh, because you know this is very important. I want to take notes.

    Yeah. No, you don't need notes.

    Your son's already there. 4.9.

    Yeah. One.

    I know. Two.

    But they're two boys at least. They are two boys.

    Yes. Good job.

    Yeah, good job, Erica. We're getting

    16:43

    there. Ninth grade is really tough.

    Um, all right. Let's talk about what is one piece of unconventional parenting advice you swear by.

    Again, it's going to be a hot take. Uh, I I am all about investing in my business, right?

    So, anything that

    17:00

    buys back my time, I spend a lot of money on. I'll give you an example.

    Like my daughter is in college and I hired somebody to uh to help her clean her room, her dorm room. This was very controversial cuz all her friends were

    17:15

    like, "Why would you do that? You don't know how to clean your own room." First of all, in a postcoid world, we're living in a different world.

    These dorms are not like no one is taking care of these things. Me personally, I think if you can hire some help that gives you back your own time, that is worth the

    17:32

    investment. Most Asian parents and a lot of Asian parents that I know would be like she needs to learn to do this and learn like you know all these highintensity uh time draining activities.

    I'm not one of those parents. I think if you can farm out

    17:49

    some of the jobs that that's taking a lot of your time like my daughter's not she loves to cook but it's just she's getting two degrees. She's working for me full-time.

    There's only so many things she can do. These kids order in all the time and I personally don't have

    18:04

    a problem with it. I know a lot of you know there's a lot of mom guilt involved in that world but but how you can't do it all.

    So my kids spend money on all these things like they'll take Ubers all over the place which to some will be like that is spoiled and and I get it. I

    18:21

    get where people are coming from, but to me more it's more like if you're going to sit in the backseat of an Uber and actually use that time productively, I would rather you do that. I I just have a problem with you sitting in the back seat and like scrolling aimlessly.

    18:37

    But but uh I've taught my kids that time has such significant value and because I started late in life I'm hyper aware like in comedy I'm hyper aware of every minute that um I've taught my kids I'm like you want to spend money on takeout

    18:52

    you want to do that's all fine but what are you doing in the time that you save it right if you're going to be productive with it go nuts spend the money I don't care build something write something whatever is your thing but Um, but you're not allowed to spend the

    19:08

    money and then waste your time on, you know, I mean like YouTube. Yes.

    Right. Thank Well, because they're learning YouTube.

    How to fly a plane. Exactly.

    Right. Okay.

    Agree. Um, I like that invest.

    I always call it outsource. I got that career that advice very early in my career.

    Outsource as much as you

    19:25

    can. Yeah.

    And I think it's a form of investment. It is.

    It is. I think it's like it's how you build bigger and bigger because we all have to think big.

    Yeah. Agree.

    Agree. sticking with that same sort of like mom guilt.

    I know that I've been told everything I say is

    19:41

    cringe. Yeah.

    Yeah. I don't know even that's probably not the right word.

    When they watch this, they're going to yell at me for that. How have your children reacted?

    Because you talk about them a lot. They are now in your videos.

    Like, how have you guys dealt with this as a family? Yeah, I mean, they they deal with it constantly.

    You know, their

    19:57

    friends think they're cringe. They think I'm cringe.

    And then they're still watching. I'm like, they're watching, right?

    cuz that's all I'm focused on. So, they watched the video and then thought I was cringe.

    That's fine. Yeah.

    Um, my son

    20:12

    recently wrote an article about how he chases embarrassment because uh we we learned, you know, he he was the kid who put me on social media. He during co he was like, "Mom, you need to be on TikTok." And he actually took one of my

    20:28

    videos and cut it up and did his thing. And I remember when kids used to uh troll them in real life like not online trolling but like their classmates.

    They came home and they were so upset and uh and I explained to them I said look you can try to appease every single person

    20:46

    you know or you can think of the big picture what are we doing big picture there are millions of people in this world who now feel like we are part of their family who find joy in what we do and you can either focus on that or focus on this and honestly we were in an

    21:03

    existential state like my husband had lost lost his job during co every video I was creating kidding had had business value. So I was like you can either worry about those kids or you can worry about your mother who's fighting every day for this family and you know really

    21:20

    I think u in America as parents you you don't you're not encouraged to bring your kids into your battles. It's a lot of like don't talk to them about money don't you know we've been very open about it.

    I I've my struggles are their struggles. We struggle together.

    And I think

    21:37

    they've learned what is important. Is it really that important that your seventh grade friend is like thinks you're n I don't even know.

    Cringe is there. There's other words for it.

    I'm sure there is. I didn't check with them ahead of time.

    No, I know there's all kinds of words, but it doesn't even matter. I

    21:54

    mean, they're all watching the video. That's all I care about.

    I don't even listen to the rest of it. They'll be like, "Mom, they saw this video and they thought I was like, "Oh, stop.

    stopped talking and they saw the video. That's it.

    That's all I care about. I love uh making sure that your

    22:11

    family's involved in everything. Yeah.

    I think that once they understand that we're all fighting on the same team and and overall we're uh you know, we're contributing to positive good feelings in the world. Like somebody doesn't like it that, you

    22:26

    know, listen, I don't like reading about wars, but it's happening. I can't do anything about it.

    You know what I mean? Maybe there's a YouTube video on that.

    Maybe. How many things are we going to deal with moms?

    You know, we're gonna have to solve it. I I feel we could fix it

    22:41

    really quickly. I agree.

    Um All right. Let's pivot off a war cuz I don't like that either.

    No. Okay.

    So, let's talk about your two friends, Tina Fay and Amy Polar. Yes.

    You've opened for them, which is so incredibly impressive. A what I found impressive is you pushed

    22:56

    yourself into there, which I think is amazing. You reached out to them.

    You got that. What have you learned from observing their work?

    Because they are ridiculous. Yeah, ridiculous, iconic.

    Uh I have learned that women can work together and build together. I'm from

    23:11

    the generation where we were taught don't mix business with pleasure. You know, we grew up I grew up being told don't mix business with pleasure.

    Don't miss mix business with family. I think that those things existed two, three decades ago when the men went to work

    23:27

    and the women stayed home and looked after the house. From Tina and Amy, what I've learned, they've been doing comedy together for over 30 years.

    And it's actually a sad realization because I'm with them a lot and I see the shorthand that they have with each other. Like one

    23:44

    finishes the other one's sentences, they things don't even need to be said because they've been together for so long. And I miss that in my life.

    I do so much by myself that I wish I had built with my friends or I wish I had somebody that I was traveling with. I go

    23:59

    everywhere alone. So uh but I've really learned that that old piece of you know I think eventually people will be like build with your friends.

    Some man will say it and everybody will be like renaissance

    24:15

    man. I know I see a bunch of ladies right here.

    Should I say they sorry guys, but you know what I mean, right? They've been building for 30 years and look at one's success has definitely contributed to the other one's success.

    Like they've been mutually beneficial as business

    24:32

    partners even though they both run their own companies. So for clarity, they don't have one company, but being part of each other's ecosystem that closely has made each one stronger and them stronger as a team.

    And I really wish

    24:48

    that all the new generation, you guys all have friends you align with, you build with, and you, you know, it's less scary and it's more fun. You're allowed to have fun at work.

    What a novel idea. We We have a Lego wall.

    You can have Yeah, we have a lot of fun here and a

    25:04

    game room. It's like puzzles.

    I'm not allowed to use it. Puzzles.

    I do love puzzles. Um, all right.

    Besides, I'm going to turn it over to the audience in a few seconds and we have some great questions on the Dory. Besides your most recent Google search, which I think

    25:21

    United might have some concerns about, what was your search before that when you weren't stuck on the plane last Google search? Okay, I'm writing my third hour of comedy.

    Uh, my second hour is going to drop on Hulu in July. Practical people win.

    25:38

    So, thank you. So, my third hour is going to focus on competitive moms.

    Oh, I like this. Yes.

    Because I in real life ran into a friend of mine at an airport whose son had just graduated Harvard Medical School. Oh, she did well.

    Yeah.

    25:55

    And the minute she saw the minute she saw me, it wasn't like, "Hi, how are you?" She's like, "My son just graduated Harvard Medical School." And I got it. I was like, "She's proud of her son." I said, "Oh, amazing.

    Congrats." She goes, "No, no, he graduated first in his class." I said, "Great. Amazing." And

    26:11

    she goes, "No, you don't understand. He he's sumakumlar." I said, "Yes, this is good." And and she goes, "He even got a PhD." I said, "Who wouldn't?" It feels like the kind of thing you just throw in there, you know, while you're already there, obviously.

    26:26

    But like there was such a frantic energy to her that I found hilarious that I've been doing a lot of research in the space of how moms compete, like all the passive aggressive things. And by the way, I'm not above it.

    Like I make fun of it. I go everywhere.

    I'm like, do you

    26:43

    know how tall my son is? Yeah.

    I every I can't help myself. I dropped 4.9 in the first sentence.

    Listen, this is why we're in this room with each other. So, I've been doing a lot of research in that space of what are other

    26:59

    things like the some things are obvious, right? the kid the kids schooling and their athletics and all that, but what are other things that mom moms compete on, you know, their bags, like for example, the bag is a thing.

    I, you know, I dropped a video, a photo with a bag that I I just wanted to see and

    27:16

    everybody like people zooming in on the bag, you know what I mean? Like I it didn't occur to me that that could be a thing, but it's a real thing that gets a lot of engagement.

    Everybody's got an opinion on it. So, I've been googling and YouTube searching in that space.

    Yeah. I have some friends competing with

    27:32

    wallpaper. Oh, yeah.

    I'm not getting involved in that. It seems messy.

    The thing is that we all think we won't get involved and then something will happen that will suck you in. You know, it'll be like a wallpaper with like math equations on it.

    Damn it. And then you're Oh, I could put that in my son's

    27:49

    room. There's the All right.

    See? See how you got it in?

    Now I'm in. Now I'm in on the wallpaper.

    You posted an ad for your husband in the newspaper. You got the right candidate.

    Yeah. Which newspapers should we do use considering how bad the New York dating scene is?

    28:05

    Let's talk about matchmaking. Let's talk about that.

    Yes. Let's talk about it.

    Um I've been I've been forcing my kids to get on every app. All Okay.

    Yeah. Because I'm like just get on and and I have everybody's login and password.

    28:20

    Obviously, we talked about privacy in the beginning. That's not a thing.

    So, I don't care where they are because I'm going to be there, too. You know what I mean?

    And I'm going to respond as if it's them and I'm going to set the criteria and filters. So, I think in the

    28:36

    new world that we're in, I if I was looking to meet somebody, I would put an ad out everywhere. But, but the criteria would be so limiting that only few people would actually apply cuz you don't want 10,000 responses.

    you don't

    28:52

    want to if if you don't like to like if you're not the outdoorsy girl like don't post a photo next to a camping tent, you know, like just be like that. No big X over that.

    So, I'm all about going all out and posting everywhere,

    29:08

    but limiting making the criteria specific so the right person filters through. It doesn't matter where they come from.

    What's the top two criteria? For me it was uh obviously for you but yeah for me I wanted somebody who was

    29:23

    brilliant and ambitious and but then you know the mother yeah came with that like see you will wherever you go you you oh yeah you you know you're going to remind that that 4.9 guess who helped him get that yeah exactly that that's

    29:40

    the thing that I've learned that you don't just get the guy you get the whole thing all up in there yeah me too I'm not above it. So, I make fun of people, but I'm 100% worse than anybody else I've seen, including my mother-in-law.

    29:56

    So bad, including your mom. Yeah, because you know, I I see I can see it on the horizon that I'm going to be a disaster.

    Yeah. I told my son I'll buy him his first apartment cuz that way I get the key.

    Yeah. Yeah.

    Yeah. You should get the key anyway.

    Well, I will, but I just I sort of set that tone just

    30:12

    cuz my daughter is graduating and I have the login and password to her bank account. Of course.

    Yeah. And that's the thing like all her friends are always getting in her ear like why does your mom log into your account like hello sis do you want to be a friend for

    30:27

    long cuz you about to exit this chat I agree I agree all right we have people on both sides why don't we start over here on the left hi Zara thank you so much for this talk my name is Rada and you talked about giang earlier and just

    30:45

    you know stigma of Indian culture And you've talked about like other people not paying attention, but how did you combat that with like any judgment within your own family? I'm asking as someone who like wants to make content about taboo Indian topics like dating,

    31:00

    but like I have a very backwards family. No, that's a really good question and that your own family can affect you for sure.

    But at the end of the day, you have to decide are you doing this or are you not doing this? Because if you want

    31:16

    to get something done for yourself, you have to commit to it to the exclusion of everybody else's opinion no matter what. And I'll give you an example.

    Like this book talks about my husband, my kids, my mother-in-law, my my siblings. I told everybody, nobody's going to get any uh

    31:34

    editorial rights to it. Nobody's going to read the chapter, review it.

    Nobody's gonna tell me take this line out. Because if you want to create something, you have to be very authentic with your audience, with your with your followers, with your fan base, however you see

    31:50

    them, with your clients, and really deliver them value to the exclusion of everybody else. And have faith that once your thing takes off, they will all come around.

    What happened, what is cringe in the beginning, it it makes a full circle. Now my mother-in-law is like,

    32:06

    "Make fun of my sister." No, she does. She sends me every time they make some funny food or something, she'll be like, "You want to see what he brought to the potluck?" Because she wants me to.

    So have faith, but you have to be true to yourself.

    32:21

    Nobody is going to give that to you. Even your own family is going to have their motivations.

    My kids were like, "What? They're going to make fun.

    My friends will make fun of me." But I was determined. I'm going to make a career in comedy.

    Everything else had failed for me until then. This was the only

    32:37

    thing I saw a spark in I was going to go all in and I everybody else had to trust that this was going to work out and and you have to have blinders on at some point. Yeah.

    Thank you. I hope that helps.

    No, that was really helpful.

    32:53

    Screw them. Yeah, that eloquently put.

    Hi, Zara. Hi.

    Thanks so much for coming. Uh my name is Maya.

    Hi Maya. Uh and I work on Google Maps on the research team.

    Oh, love Google Maps. I do too.

    33:08

    Oh, thanks. Thanks.

    So much better than Apple Maps. Oh, great.

    Um but as a researcher and you mentioned research earlier, I'm curious about your research process. Like you talked about your third hour being about competitive moms.

    Like yeah, where are you?

    33:24

    Obviously you're coming from your lived experience, but you also want to be a storyteller and make it broadly applicable to your various audiences. So, I'm just curious, what's your research process like?

    Yeah, I mean, once I decide what I want the hour to be about, I start looking up things that I

    33:40

    think like things that instantly seem to pop in my head. Like, the shopping stuff kind of popped in my head.

    I was I was trying to fan out of the kids experience cuz that was the first thing that got me interested. So, I I really am a deep diving Googler myself.

    I will be like,

    33:58

    "Google this topic, Google this topic, and then wherever that link takes me, I'll follow it. I'll watch a whole master class on a topic.

    I'll come back to it." So, um, it it's really old. I feel like I'm one of the older like researchers that

    34:15

    actually does it that way where my kids seem to have like easy fast ways of finding things, but it takes me a lot of time. I'll read like a thousand articles.

    I'll watch a 100 videos about something. Uh, and then what's something has to really strike me to make it into

    34:31

    my set because the set has to be pure gold, right? It can't be mid-level stuff.

    Uh, so something really hits me, I'll be like, "Oh my god, that is unusual. That is so rare." But it might be some newspaper article from like some

    34:47

    random Korean or Japanese newspaper that showed up on Google on a topic where I'll be like, "Oh, you know, this is what they do in this culture and then I'll start going down that rabbit hole." Uh, but it builds like my comedy builds little pieces at a time. So, right now

    35:05

    I'm working on this the the moms competing over the kids school and the bag thing took off. So now, like for example, right now I'm looking up the history of bags.

    What are all these iconic bags? I don't even know.

    I didn't know this was a thing. All these bags

    35:20

    have names and cult followings and things that I'm learning now. So once they start registering, I will start making notes.

    Then I'll try to find the next category. What's another thing like bags that moms like moms love to compete on baked goods.

    Yeah, it's really You

    35:36

    know what I mean? I don't have time to bake.

    I know. But it's a thing in schools here.

    It is. Yeah.

    And and like the ones who do it like they go all out. No, they go all out.

    Like you don't even So now I'll start googling in that direction like what are all these crazy

    35:52

    and crazy things will pop up. Like I remember I did a brief search on brave go and there was this woman who was like non no nuts, no dairy, hypoallergenic like blah blah upside down hanging cake pop.

    36:09

    What? I just put a stop and shop and put it in my own container.

    Yeah. No, that Yeah.

    Okay. Mhm.

    Listen, the moral compass is low. Sometimes you just got to do that so you can get through it.

    But does that help

    36:25

    at all? It's very old school.

    Oh, no. That's I'm still of that generation that types www.goo.

    See, you're all laughing. I know cuz my kids laugh at me when I do that, but I'm still there.

    Yeah. No, it's great.

    Thank you. Yeah.

    36:43

    Hi, Zara. Sorb here.

    Hi. Good to meet you and so good to see you in such a small setting.

    I saw you at the NJ pack a while back. Oh yes.

    Thank you for coming. Thank you.

    Yeah. The question I have for you is, you know, you started out really kind of building this entire brand for yourself.

    You know, we joke in our house. I don't know how much

    36:58

    pineapple is consumed in but you this morning I was watching you with the unboxing video and all the different hermes but as you're thinking about your brand what are some of the challenges that you went through you know as Rada was saying you know she wants to become a content creator what are some advice you would give people in terms of how do

    37:15

    you think about building a brand when you're by yourself yeah you have to really trial and error what's working and that means there will be a lot of errors there's no way around it lot of people look for shortcuts. They think, "Oh, this video worked.

    Let me make 10

    37:30

    more of this kind." That's kind of not where the audience is anymore. In my opinion, the audience is very evolved.

    They want to see different dimensions to your life. Like, I can't just keep making pineapple.

    I wish I could because it would be on autopilot, but you can't.

    37:46

    And you have to be comfortable with the errors. And I've made so many mistakes along the way where I somehow every video that I spent hours scripting and editing and getting the perfect light just never took off.

    Somehow those

    38:02

    things just because I'm telling you my audience is very smart. They like in the moment.

    Like if I'm stuck at the airport and filming about like look at what's going on in this lounge or some random rant, they get they get drawn into the realness of it. So a big challenge is

    38:19

    knowing that there will be errors and you have to go through them because the errors can get you stuck. Like I was stuck at a certain level for a long time and people will be like ah I'm making all these videos and nothing is breaking through.

    But that's kind of you know

    38:35

    many of you in this room are engineers right? It takes a time to solve problems.

    I I wouldn't know cuz I'm not an engineer. I'm not either.

    Right. like I I was I don't know how to build anything like that.

    But this I found like I I remember I mean even on YouTube

    38:52

    since we're at it. Uh I've been posting so many podcast videos, but we've kind of plateaued at a certain subscriber base for a for a while now.

    But I keep operating on faith that this is going to we're going to have a breakthrough at

    39:07

    some point. But it's hard because it's a lot of work that you're doing for almost no money.

    you know, it's hard to have faith under those circumstances, but um I also am encouraged because it's free therapy for my kids. So, you find other things that

    39:24

    you're getting out of it. But for me, the hardest part has been that like when you get stuck, you you really you start thinking, "Oh, I should just do standup clips." Conventional wisdom is comedians post stand-up clips.

    But I was like, there's so many. It feels like there's

    39:40

    such a saturation and uh you know I wanted to go in a different direction but there is a day where I might be like no no no that's a better idea and to keep going when you're not making any money is very very hard cuz money motivates you know like everybody shows

    39:56

    up because they're getting paid and as a creator that's that's like figuring out how to monetize your base and sticking with it even when you know you know that but brand deals are like eat what you you got to hunt. You got to find those

    40:11

    deals. Uh so that's that's been the biggest challenge.

    But but I I I'm a believer. I'm an optimist.

    Hi Zorna. Very nice meeting you in person.

    My name is Connie. Hi Connie.

    40:28

    I'm sitting in the front row and I got so much positive energy from you. I feel like I absorbed a lot of good vibes for this rainy day.

    So thank you. Um, speaking of being a creator, uh, I work for YouTube.

    I'm thinking of setting up my own channel this year. Um, I was

    40:44

    reading a lot about like creative process and I wanted to ask you about like vulnerability because I remember I read it somewhere that actually being a creator is about practicing with vulnerability because you're putting a lot of your inner world out there, letting whoever to come and judge you

    41:01

    and leave a comments. So, how do you kind of grow with that and what would be a good piece of advice to whoever wants to be a creator?

    It's a great question and the vulnerability is very real because you worry and in my case, my kids are out there. So, it's not even me

    41:19

    taking risk about myself. I'm constantly worried what people will think about them.

    Am I limiting a corporate career for them? Will anybody ever hire them with all their opinions out there?

    These are all things we worry about. But uh I think we've entered a new world.

    Uh I

    41:36

    think everybody's out there in some shape or form. Uh I failed at so many things when I wasn't vulnerable.

    Every business that I designed like a business with a business plan and where everything made sense on paper never

    41:51

    worked for me. The the only thing that worked for me was connecting with human beings on a very human level.

    And uh I I've kind of had to accept that for me to succeed, I have no other way to succeed. I have to be vulnerable and and

    42:09

    tapping into the humanity of other people is what my job is. So it's very hard because I wish I could just be like here's my slideshow and this is my business and this is how I make make money.

    But none of that ever worked for me. So the good thing is that today

    42:28

    people understand that vulnerability. 5 years ago you put things out and people were a lot more judgmental.

    Today actually everybody gets that a creator can have a bad day and you can say sorry and get up and move on from it. So you also have to have some faith that your

    42:45

    intentions are good, your audience is smart and if something bad happens you will deal with it. A lot of what holds us back is this imagined adversity, right?

    It's not really happened. Uh the the biggest thing that has given me comfort in

    43:01

    taking risk in life is that I've learned that whatever you prepare for is not what's going to happen. Something will happen because life is like that.

    But you can't predict it nor prepare for it. That is why it's adversity because you think you think you have it all.

    You

    43:18

    think you have every tool known to m like we have so much technological advancement right we should see every tsunami coming we should see every earthquake happening and yet we get caught caught by surprise but what helps us is knowing that we will deal with it

    43:33

    and we will persevere so the same goes in the creative business like I don't know what's going to happen I don't know what video is going to tick somebody off at some point and might get me cancelled but no you just don't know you like Especially as an Indian creator like you

    43:50

    I performed in India I performed in the Middle East it's very scary like India when I performed the whole front row 50 seats were reserved for the government of India oh did they laugh at you no they were

    44:06

    they came with their families but but the reservation was under government of India so that's very scary like you're because India is not America like here you say whatever you want there you say one wrong thing and somebody's going to be like, "She attacked the religion or whatever." But um there's no way to

    44:25

    control that. Like what am I going to do?

    Get up on stage and be like, "I'm not doing my comedy." You just have to have faith that whatever happens, you will resolve it and you will. Uh and that is what will help you be vulnerable and be like, you know what, I'm putting things out with good intentions and

    44:42

    that's all you can control. I mean, look at you.

    You're radiating positivity. Put it all out there.

    Morphing the good vibes. Thank you.

    Thank you. I love that.

    Hi, Zara. Hi.

    My name is Megan. I read your book and it was it's so good.

    So,

    44:58

    thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for reading it.

    Of course. And so, in one of the chapters, um, you talk about how you met Kevin Hart and how it was, you know, a moment for you where you felt so seen and that he was so present.

    Um, and then you liken that to how it kind of shifted your mindset on

    45:14

    how you build community, how you get a social following in the sense that, you know, you're thinking less about how do I get a million followers and more about how do I win one like each person a million times really that really resonated with me. Um, and so my

    45:29

    question is, I'm curious for you, you know, when you're meeting a ton of people, when you're networking professionally, when you're, you know, building social communities with your audiences, how do you how do you think about um making people feel seen and being that same level of like presence that you felt with Kevin um in your in

    45:46

    your life professionally and personally? I I this is a great question and I really believe it.

    It's a central tenate of my brand and I think it's the only way to succeed as a creator today. Honestly, you have to there's two ways to look at it.

    One is you have to care

    46:03

    if you want to build anything. And the other thing is if you care if you care about whatever it is that you're doing, you're already in the top 1% of things.

    There's so few people who care anymore. The level of apathy in this world is so great that if you if you're the barista

    46:21

    who cares to make the the right coffee, if you're the the you know the teacher who cares to actually teach, you're already in the top 1 or 2% of whatever it is that you're doing. Now with like Kevin Hart, for example, deals with a huge volume of people, right?

    So it's

    46:38

    challenging for him, but even he learns it's like a learned it's like a muscle you learn to work. Um, I've learned like I I used to I used to just hang around after my comedy sets and talk to every single person who came

    46:53

    into the audience. Every every day I would be like, "Oh, sure.

    3 hours." I would be like, "What are you doing? What brought you here?

    Who paid for your ticket?" Cuz sometimes there were artists. I was like, "Did you pay your bill?" Yeah.

    So, you learn. I can't do that

    47:10

    anymore. But I care in other ways.

    Like you know one thing that I've learned and you guys are a tech company is that you can actually care through the digitals. Like through these wires and screens people know when you care.

    They do. I

    47:25

    don't know how to explain it but it's this magical radiation that you get on the other side where you know that this creator cares about what you're thinking, what you value. And it's like a it's like a it's slightly artistic in how you do it.

    Each creator does it

    47:41

    differently, but you learn how to do it. It It starts with saying to yourself that I'm going to care.

    It starts with saying because a lot of people will be like, "I have 10 viral videos. Why don't I have 100,000 followers?" Well, you're not caring about the 10,000 that do

    47:57

    follow you. Why don't you just worry about them?

    Because then the rest will fall into place. So, it starts with knowing that.

    Start caring about what you have and then wait for that multiplier effect to to play itself out. Thank you.

    I'm so glad you remember that

    48:14

    quote because I live and die by it. Yes, it really stood out to me.

    So, thank you. A Hi, Zara.

    My name is Rachel. Hi.

    And um my mom and I are both huge fans of

    48:29

    yours. We saw you in the Westside uh comedy seller in the fall, but um I'm mixed race and she's the white one and all of her um all of her friends are also in their 60s and white and they're all obsessed with you.

    And one way that

    48:47

    my mom and I stay connected is sending your videos back and forth throughout the week. But um my question for you is I work here on YouTube and some of my work is connecting paid advertiser spend and target audiences to those creators

    49:04

    and who they want to find. U my mom and I both found your videos organically on our own and then realized we were both following you.

    I was wondering because you appeal to such a wide audience, do you have that in your mind when you're

    49:19

    making a video? do you create for certain demographics and like how does that play into your creation process?

    Yeah, I excellent question. Thank you for asking.

    I am committed to the idea of family. I'm a family comic.

    I'm

    49:36

    committed to the idea of creating these moments exactly what you described. The videos going back and forth between mother and daughter, mother and son, husband and wife, in-laws.

    So everything I do comes from a place of

    49:53

    like do I think my family audience will enjoy it, will find value in it. Uh I don't know how advertisers and all that works.

    Like I don't understand the tech behind it. But I have faith that if I create with with this commitment that I

    50:10

    believe in family events, I believe in family togetherness that the right advertisers will find me somehow. I I don't know how but I I and they have.

    I've built a whole business by doing this. You know, I'm the only comic that allows teenagers into the audience.

    Oh,

    50:27

    wow. Most comedy clubs are 21 plus because they want to sell alcohol.

    It's not about the comedy. Uh but I don't see a reason why a 15year-old cannot be sitting with their mom and dad.

    So, I'm constantly crusading everywhere I go. I want teenagers in the room so we have

    50:43

    things to do as a family. So, I do I'm very intentional about that.

    Like I whatever I create, I think would my kid find humor in it? Would my husband find humor in it?

    And if it's like if it feels like really quirky and out of the

    50:58

    box, like no one I know would care about this, I might try it just for my own curiosity to see what happens. But usually those things don't work because I have I overall am committed to family gatherings.

    Like I I'm all about what

    51:15

    will bring people like our family podcast was created for that reason and people watch it on YouTube as if it's a talk show. Mhm.

    We do. So people sit around our episode and watch it like us fighting with each other like you know

    51:30

    and you don't clean your room and I clean my room and whatever it is that that we're all fighting about. So I am the only thing I'm thinking is does this fit my brand of family?

    Like I don't want to do like I could make make a lot of money if

    51:46

    I did like a really dirty set. Mhm.

    You know, coming from this face and body, it would be very funny, right? If I suddenly started making dick jokes.

    Yeah. No, there there's a business opportunity there.

    But it just doesn't feel like

    52:03

    it's right for my world. I don't want to upset this wholesome Apple cart that we've built.

    So I'm I am actually very fixated on that and I I find it so uh heartwarming that you and your mom bond over it. Yes.

    Thank you so much. Thank

    52:18

    you. I think we have time for one last question.

    Hey Zara. Uh do you need an opener for yours from always from now or a year from now?

    Are you a budding comic? Amazing.

    I I'd like to think so. Amazing.

    Listen, I started because I've

    52:34

    helped so many people get started in comedy. The club that I first started comedy in now has a comedy school where we teach classes.

    We have teen classes in comedy, comedy writing, comedy performance because so many I mean the amount of people I've helped get started

    52:51

    that I I went back to my own club and I said we got to like organize this and make this a thing because the comedy skill I assume you work here. Yeah.

    Right. Like did the She didn't just sneak in.

    Right. Yeah.

    Yeah. So because

    53:06

    what I've learned is that if you even learn comedy writing or how to do improv or standup like 101 right it's very helpful even in work right it's it's helpful even as an engineer as a business person so we've gone all into

    53:22

    teaching in that space and yeah of course I would love to help in whatever way I can thanks amazing well thank you on behalf of this entire audience those on the live stream and all of us at Google for coming and sharing your positivity your beliefs on family and just spending

    53:38

    the morning with us. We really really appreciate it.

    Thank you. Thank you for having me.

    Thank you. [Music]