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When somebody publicly blames you, you may think that you need better comebacks. But what if the real win happens before the comeback even starts?
Because the first sentence you say after somebody publicly blames you, the entire room silently decides something about
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you. The wild part, most people have no idea what that moment is really judging.
I'm going to show you. Watch this.
But but before I give you that line, let me tell you. I'm Dan Oconor and for more than 20 years I've trained over 370,000 professionals, Fortune 500 execs, Air
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Force directors how to hold their power in rooms where one wrong sentence can cost them their reputation and their career. And today, I'm going to give you something that most people never get access to.
The exact opening line that ships the power back into your hands
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when somebody accuses you in public, even when you're blindsided and ambushed. But first, have you ever noticed what your brain does in that split second before you speak?
You know that instant when somebody says your name, twists the story, and suddenly everybody's eyes are on you, waiting to
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see if you crumble. You do not win that moment with the comeback.
Defending drops your status. Explaining makes you look guilty.
Reacting makes you look rattled. Talking fast makes you look scared.
So, what do you do? Wait until you feel what happens to the
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room when you say this. Here's your first line.
You ready? Hang on.
Exactly what are you saying I did? Repeat that.
Hang on. Exactly what are you saying I did?
Now say it slowly. Hang on.
Exactly what are you saying I did? Now say it
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once more with zero emotion. Hang on.
Exactly what are you saying I did? Then you pause and you let it land.
Why does this work so well? Because this one line does three things at once in a way that almost nobody expects.
It stops their momentum cold. It forces them to
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repeat their accusation. And most attackers cannot repeat their accusation without revealing their real motive.
And the room sees it happen in real time. Next, after they repeat themselves, and they will soften it, you shift into the power seat with your second line.
I want
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to be sure I'm understanding your concern correctly. Suddenly, you are not the accused anymore.
You are not the prey. You are the evaluator.
And remember, people evaluate from above. Now, here comes the sentence that ends it.
This makes the entire room pivot
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towards you. So, be ready for this.
Once you hear this, you'll start hearing high status women use it everywhere. The 1enters.
So, tell me specifically, what outcome are you actually looking for? Okay, before we drill this, I'm going to break it down.
But before I do, think about
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how many problems in your life could have been avoided if someone had just asked that question sooner. Now, let's dissect this line.
So, tell me. That signals leadership.
You are not reacting. You're directing and you're saying you tell me.
But there's something even bigger. When you use the
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word specifically, that forces clarity. Passive aggressive communicators, they thrive in fog.
So, what happens when you turn the lights on? Just like cockroaches.
Then you're asking for the outcome. That is reframing the entire situation from blame to strategy.
This
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is what the 1% does automatically without even realizing that they're doing it. And soon you will too.
Then the word actually. This word is the flashlight.
It means cut the performance. Tell the truth.
I'm a truth seeker and a truth teller. When you say actually, I'm saying enough of what you
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were saying. I would like to know what's actually.
What's really your motive? Everyone feels that.
Now, here's where most people gasp because this part exposes something that nobody's talking about. Many accusers, they don't want a solution.
They want attention. They want
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chaos. They want control.
They want to be able to blame. So, what happens when you corner somebody who's not there for a solution?
You'll see. And the room sees it, too.
And suddenly you become the adult in the room. But what if the attacker is one of those people, you know, a professional blamer, people who
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have a bone to pick with you, and no matter what you say, they're going to keep going. There is a line for them, too.
But if you use it incorrectly, it will backfire on you, and it backfires hard. It's the validity anchor.
You may have heard me use it before. If you've ever wanted one of those
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sentences that collapses somebody's entire narrative, this is it. But it is only for certain moments, certain people.
Only when you can hold the heat. I'm going to give you the line, but I'm not going to practice it.
You can, but you can't. And the reason you can't is
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now. You can fit a million different things into that structure, but when you use it, it it ends things.
I mean, you could say you can say whatever you want, but you can't back up anything that you're saying. And the reason that you can't is because everything you're saying is a lie.
And I think you know that. Now, if you feel a change in your
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body, that's normal. how to use it that I only teach inside of my private group that you can join for free.
It's the first link in the description if you want to learn more things like that, but how to deliver them. Inside that group, I use the spar method, which means first you study, then you practice, then you
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make things automatic before you respond so that when you respond, it's perfect. Now, the way you do that is through repetition, drills, spars.
Since you're just watching this here on YouTube, you can't do that. I understand that.
So, all we're going to do is repeat this. Okay?
So, say this.
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Hold on. Exactly.
What are you saying I did? Now, repeat it slower.
Hold on. What exactly are you saying I did?
Now, say this. I want to be sure I'm understanding your concern correctly.
Now, say with no emotion. I want to be
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sure I'm understanding your concern correctly. Now, say this.
So, tell me specifically, what outcome are you actually looking for? Say it again, but this time imagine someone's attacking you in front of a room.
So tell me specifically, what outcome are you actually looking for?
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Did you feel your posture shift? You should say this.
What outcome are you actually looking for? Now say it more slowly than you normally would say it.
So tell me, control every word. Specifically,
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control every word. What outcome are you actually looking for?
This is where the spar method comes in. Study, practice, automate, respond.
That's how these lines become automatic. So you don't freeze or fumble or say something that you regret.
Now again, inside the
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private group, we spar everything until your mouth knows what to say before your fear or your emotion wakes up and inserts itself and sabotages everything because the truth is your emotions will betray you. Your instincts will betray you.
But you're training that never
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betrays you if it's done right. If you want these lines to fire off instantly, before you have time to think about it, and before your brain has time to sabotage what you're going to say and do so that you can say things with power, calm, and zero defensiveness, the private group is still open and it's free until November 30th, then it's
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closed forever. So, make sure to click that link in the description.
You have nothing to lose, and you can see what it's like to make things automatic when you have the right training. Most people have taken communication skills courses.
You don't learn how to talk in a course. You learn how to talk when you have the right trainer.
So, come and join us.
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Once you've done that, now that you know what to say when somebody attacks you, what if that's not the issue? What if the problem is an interruption?
Remember, interruptions happen every day. What triggers them might shock you, however.
In the next video, I'm going to show you the three things that even smart women unknowingly do in the first
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5 seconds that makes other people think that they can interrupt them. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.
Once you fix it, people will treat you differently forever. So, I'll see you in there.
Make sure to join that free weight list. >> Free audio postp production
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by alphonic.com.